Get Low

I haven’t posted my measurements in a bit:

Weight: 195

Upper arm: 15 1/2

Forearm: 12 3/4

Bust: 42 1/2

Thigh: 23

Calf: 15 3/8

I took about two and a half weeks off because of finals, followed by a general feeling of exhaustion, but I jumped back in. One thing that was noteworthy is that I lost a few pounds, possibly connected to not drinking beer. Discouragingly, I lost some diameter with my calves.

Calves are a sore point for me (as they are for many lifters), so I’m pretty much willing to try anything (except implants). I’d had some encouraging progress with a high-volume, low-weight regimen, but for reasons that now elude me, I switched to a regimen involving fewer reps and MUCH higher weight. Apparently, the flaw in this plan is that calves are almost entirely Type 1 muscle fiber (slow twitch = endurance), and working your fast twitch fibers just really won’t show through that well. Back to the high-rep regimen today. I’ll be good and sore, but awesomeness hurts.

I want to work in a few changes, actually. Lately, I do two distinct leg workouts per week. One day centers around squats with low weight and high-intensity intervals: for 20 seconds, you bang out as many squats as you can, rest for 10 seconds, and repeat for four minutes. It’s called the Tabata method, and it’s interesting because it works you anaerobically and aerobically (your legs will hate you and you’ll be badly out of breath by the end of this). The article that first turned me on to the idea recommended using front squats, but I’m still having trouble with my form there, so I’ll stick to back squats for this until I get more comfortable. This is pretty much what I do for cardio and fat-burning, largely because I hate most cardio like Republicans hate women. It’s summer, though, so swimming would do me some good. Regardless, I like this one for now.

My second legs day, though, is a more conventional regimen. Lately, it has involved back squats (4 sets of ten), deadlifts (4 sets of ten), and then whatever calf regimen has grabbed my attention that week. I eschew isolation work (leg extensions, etc.) and stick to the macro, full-body movements when possible. Combining the one Tabata day with a heavy-lifting day seems to have been working decently for me. Deadlifts are awesome for the posterior chain and recruit everything in your posterior chain up through the arms (something has to hold up all that weight), so they’re here to stay. It’s the squats that I’m looking to modify. These days might be the best opportunities to work on front squats, especially since they’re supposed to be even better than back squats for blasting your quads.  I’ll need help with form, but I’ve seen one guy at my gym wearing a Pantera T-shirt while doing these with perfect form.  I should solicit his assistance, because the Pantera shirt gives him cred.

However, one exercise that I never see anyone do is the overhead squat, and I’m wondering if I should explore this one instead. It’s purported to be an amazing total-body exercise that builds total-body strength with the capacity to burn a lot of fat (in a lower-intensity, high-volume regimen).

It’s really not a good idea to do both of these in one day (can you say “overtraining”?), so I should choose one or the other and stick with it, at least for a few weeks. Decisions, decisions. Knowing me, I’ll probably base my decision on which one puts me into position to get the best view of the hottest chick in the place.

Mouth for War

Fuck Sports Authority.  Fuck it right in its stupid head.

It occurred to me that I should start trying to find out where a proper badass would find badass equipment for a home gym.  I’m not looking to spend the equivalent of the GDP of a small nation-state on shipping, though, so I was looking for something local:  a store that would meet the needs of anyone serious about getting big or strong.  My journey began because I wanted to invest in a decent, but affordable, dip belt (largely because the gym at my law school is currently without a functional one), as well as the most cost-effective pieces of cardiovascular exercise equipment ever developed:  a jump rope.

What I learned today:  that store is not Sports Authority.  They don’t carry dip belts.  At all.  Their weight bars only come in the low-capacity, 25-lb. variety.  The heaviest medicine ball they carry seems to the the 10-lb. version.  They charge $12 for a $4 jump rope because it has the Sports Authority logo.  In fact, there was a lot of crappy merchandise in there sporting the logo, because apparently enough people are willing to pay too much money just to show off their brand identification.  It’s like Nike, but shittier.

Then it occurred to me that I’ve never actually seen a buff person in a Sports Authority, and I’ve certainly never seen one working there.  Apparently, it’s because people who are serious about becoming badasses know enough to stay away.  This was an important lesson in humility.  It brings me no closer to figuring out where to find good equipment though without going online and spending hard-earned money on shipping when it could just as easily go to hookers and blow.

Oh, and I got my fucking jump rope at Target, and I’m still missing a dip belt.  I blame Sports Authority for sucking worse than people who wear crocs.