As you probably know, the music hosting site I used earlier, Muxtape, ran into a bit of a problem with the RIAA, and as a result, everything that anyone posted there is lost. However, thanks to the generosity of my other reader, we are now back in business. They’re nothing but a bunch of bullies; we can’t let them push us around.
She actually set this up for me some time ago, but I sorta let it slide. I was recently inspired to revisit my project of sharing my knowledge of Proper Workout Music, though, by a douchebag at my school gym who hooked his iPod up to the stereo and blasted his Rocky playlist. Yeah, it included “Eye of the Tiger.” Tool. If the idea is to prove how hardk0re you are, this effort is made of fail. By blasting it so loudly that no one can tune it out, you are failing loudly and aggressively to the detriment of everyone around. See also: Bush-era foreign policy. I really won’t miss that guy.
I’m here to help you rock out without sounding like a tool. As part of this new beginning, I hereby present to you the exact same playlist I presented last time. This time, however, I’m posting the track listing here, just in case something happens. You know, again.
Without further ado, I present Music by MEEE!!!
1. Primus (feat Ozzy) – Nativity in Black
There are two types of people on this earth: people who like Ozzy better with Black Sabbath, and people who like him better on his own. Some may say that they don’t like him at all. They aren’t actually people and you should kill them with fire. This track takes a classic, bad-ass Sabbath song and makes it even awesomer. It’s a great way to start.
2. Pantera – Walk
At one end of the manliness spectrum, there is Pantera. At the other end is Coldplay. This song not only features the aggression that we all know to expect, but its groove and tempo are perfect for our needs.
3. Disturbed – Voices
More good aggression with a good, aggressive tempo. Fills you with a desire to go nuts and kill your coworkers or something.
4. Buck Cherry – Crazy Bitch
A guilty pleasure. Seriously, though, one way or another, it gets you in the mood for something rough, like punching a crazy ex like after she tried that shit with the pregnancy test. Wait, where was I?
5. Motley Crue – Girls Girls Girls
If you need help understanding why this song is manful, your penis is hearby revoked.
6. Atreyu – Becoming the Bull
It’s kinda what we’re doing here. Also, the song has the right energy.
7. Smashing Pumpkins – Zero
This song is on here entirely because it inspired me to bang out a few extra sets one time when it came on the radio. This means that it works.
8. Metallica – So What
Lars sucks. This Anti-Nowhere League cover rocks, though.
9. Guns ‘n’ Roses – It’s So Easy
Axl sucks, and so does everything off of Chinese Democracy. This song, on the other hand, is everything hard and rude about the real G’n'R that we all used to love and, to this day, we mourn its loss. Make up for it in the weight room. It’s what Slash would want.
10. Dream Theater – As I Am
Dream Theater, with their insane time signature changes and 18-minute instrumentals, can be tough to handle. This song, though, is a good, straightforward rocker, and the singer even sounds like he doesn’t suck for a living. The album version has an intro where nothing happens for 90 seconds or so; this version fixes that problem and gets straight down to business.
11. Lacuna Coil – Fragile
This is the song that made me notice Lacuna Coil. The entire album Karmacode rocks. You’ll continue to hear from them.
12. Iron Maiden – The Number of the Beast
Because by now, you are the beast. Or something. It’s a legendary piece that’s a great way to finish your workout. Yes, this is the end. Why? First of all, because the Muxtape format only permits up to twelve tracks. Also, unless you’re moving onto some extended cardio (which, as you know, I do not endorse), you really shouldn’t spend more than an hour in the gym. That’s a one-way ticket to the Overtraining Land.
